Before pouring my heart out let me state a disclaimer that all that is written here are my personal opinions. As with everyone else, my opinions had been shaped and are being shaped by my life experiences and conclusions deducted from them.
So let’s start the story 😊
Few days ago, I asked my family and friends to state 3 words they can use to describe me. This was part of some activity done in Emotional Intelligence training that I am taking. So long story short, I was compiling the data given lovingly by my family and friends. Suddenly an epiphany came that an individual’s character, choices, opinions are created and then moulded uniquely as per nature, nurture and conscious choices.
So if I am being described as confident, bold then I humbly and gratefully accept the compliment and feel that that is because I dealt with a paper testing these aspects of life more than others. Nature is what is handed over to us..our DNA. Nurture is the interaction we have with the world. The parenting, the societal interactions, schooling etc..these experiences nurture us in a certain way. Then as per our maturity and needs, we make choices to take, leave or modify all that is being told to us as morals, rules, values etc.
I was told that I am aggressive and very impulsive in certain areas of life. I accept this description humbly and acknowledge that nature made me so and I never worked on the paper, testing that aspect of life.
Then came another chain of thought that I am different, my life is unique and so is the paper I am giving is completely different from that lady who is peaceful and happy in most of the situations.
There is no comparison and there should not be any comparison.
When we were taught in school that don’t compare yourself with others, just compare your own present with your own yesterday, I didn’t understand this wisdom. How can mam say this when everyone is praising that boy for being so intelligent.
Yes, he will get praise, by God’s grace he got great mathematical skills and he honed it with his sheer hard work. Should I be jealous? Should I feel inferior? Or should I understand that I could have creative side more than the mathematical side and also that I had not worked as hard as him?
This is a great teaching which I had learned way late in my life. But since I got it, I am never letting it go and will tell to the world.. That comparison is futile. Everyone is giving a different test.
Someone is being tested for patience. Someone is being tested for intelligence. Someone is being tested for perseverance.
Like if someone is giving Hindi exam, how can I compare my answers with him when I am giving Science exams?
So let me compare my Science exam of 4 months back to my science exam of today. How am I faring.. Did I learn my lessons? Am I more prepared than before?
So comparison is futile with other. But..here is an interesting twist. We should try to not compare but we can learn from others.
Eons ago when I joined as a fresher in an IT company, we were given all sorts of information in the induction training. One sentence from it had stuck to me since then..
If you don’t have it (naturally)… then acquire it…
Don’t know how to do hard work? Your friend who is acing Math exam every time knows…Acquire the knowledge from him.
Don’t know how to reduce angry responses? Get triggered easily? That colleague always responds unflinchingly.. how? Let’s ask and acquire the knowledge…
So this we can always try along with this knowledge that comparison is unnecessary…
Ending with the note which I tell to myself these days.. You are awesome, you are human. Humans do err, no human is perfect…your strengths, your flaws , every bit of your personality makes you unique and worthy…
Be you…Be happy !!
